Regret

I feel like a huge asshole. A huge petty asshole. A selfish twit caught up in my petty head worried about my silly bullshit, not taking this situation seriously. Of all of the things to fixate on I’ve been so selfish and self absorbed. A gigantic selfish petty asshole.

Worried about my fucking backyard or my stupid birthday. Worried about outfits for Europe or if I’m gaining weight. I feel so stupid.

I wish I had asked more questions at the hospital and not let the shock paralyze me.